Sirius Black in a dilemma
by Scarlet flute
Summary: It is that time of the year- Yule ball and Sirius Black needs a date. He is a charmer, we all know, but he has no experience asking a girl out. Usually, girls drop like leaves at his feet. He's in a dilemma and his savior- pick up lines, of course.


Sirius Black, Marauder extraordinaire, was without a date for the Yule ball. It was really a shame, in his opinion. Even his crappy, idiotic and Slytherin of a brother had a date. It was a massive blow to his ego. You would think that considering his handsome face and considerably intelligent mind, girls must be falling at his feet. Heavens above, they did all the time.

It was quite flattering.

But damn it, for the stupid ball he was the one who had to ask a girl. In all sixteen years of his life, he never had to ask a girl for anything. She was there before he opened his mouth. Now, whenever he would walk through the hall eyes would follow him expectantly. No doubt, waiting for him to get down on his knees and ask romantically.

The very idea made him grimace.

"You're thinking too much, mate. It's much easier that it appears." James, his ex-best friend, grinned at him, looking up from his potions homework.

"Yeah?" Sirius retorted. "Then, how come you didn't ask Evans?"

James laughed, adjusting his glasses before stretching his arms and leaning back into the wooden chair. "She would have eviscerated me."

"Didn't stop you before," he grumbled, particularly annoyed that James had asked the only girl in their team, Althea Brooks. Brooks wouldn't have expected a romantic gesture. She would have been happy with just 'Let's go the ball together, yeah?'

"James collected his things and stood up. He stared down at his best friend and smiled. "Just go and do it, Padfoot." When Sirius didn't look much motivated, he sighed. "Godric knows what girls see in you. Use pick up lines… Merlin's oversized hat, flirt!" Giving Sirius one last glance, James patted his shoulder. "See you in the common room." He walked off, whistling softly.

Sirius sagged into his seat. He needed to devise a strategy.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Sirius took a deep breath, trying to moderate his nerves. He put on his best, confident smirk. "What's up, Evans?" He slid into the chair next to the girl and grimaced slightly when he read the title of her book- History of Magic.

Green eyes swept to him, exasperated and wary. "What do you want, Black?" That's what he liked about Evans. She didn't stray from the point. No niceties were required with her.

He braced himself and leaned closer to her. "My love for you burns bright like a dying phoenix."

She stared at him for a long, painfully tense minute, as if deciding something. It seemed she concluded that he had finally lost his mind and was not worthy of his attention since, she lowered her gaze back to her work. Awkwardly, he said, "Er… Evans?"

When she didn't budge, he decided that increasing the level of charm was the only way to go.

"If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss." If James knew, he'd be dead.

Torturous silence stretched between them as she continued scribbling as if he didn't even exist. All of a sudden, she snapped the book shut and Sirius winced at the sharp noise. She got to her feet and Sirius followed. To his surprise, she turned to him with a short smile.

"Your pigheaded friend, Potter, tried the same cheesy lines. I'm going to tell you what I told him so listen carefully." He nodded, flabbergasted. "Grow up."

He smirked when he got over the initial surprise. "This is pure gold. Thanks, Evans."

It was her turn to be taken aback. "What do you mean?"

He waved dismissively. "See you at the ball, Evans."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

It was during potions, next day, Sirius made a second attempt. He took a seat next to Valerie Brown, a pretty brunette, not at all a sterling conversationalist but she would have to do. He shifted close to her and was a little amused by the blush that covered her.

"I couldn't sleep last night," he said softly.

She turned to him with wide, concerned eyes. "Why? Maybe you should go see Madame Olivia."

He smiled seductively and watched her breath catch in her throat. This was going to be easy. "Your dreams kept me awake."

She gasped and covered her mouth. She almost looked horrified. He wondered if it was too late to take back his words and crack a joke. She stumbled to her feet, nearly over turning the cauldron onto him. "May I sit somewhere else, Professor?" she asked breathlessly. Before Slughorn responded, she dashed to the nearest empty seat.

Sirius groaned.

What the hell was that?

 **-x-x-x-x-**

He found out during Transfiguration that Valerie had been warned by their eccentric divination professor Filidora that a man having dreams about her meant to betray her. No matter, he decided to try once again. He tapped the shoulder of Clarisse Turpin, a beautiful redhead and a fellow Gryffindor. Discreetly, he made sure that McGonagall wasn't watching.

"Hey, Clarisse."

"Sirius Black." She nodded inconspicuously. "I heard from Lily that you're trying to get a date."

He grinned unabashedly. "So, I am."

"It's surprising that you don't have one already."

"It's really a task to ask a girl to go to the ball."

She looked around quickly and then whispered, "I am the next victim, I take." When his grin widened, she sighed in exasperation. "Godric help me."

"He already has," he said with a smirk. "He sent me, didn't he?"

"Oh, shut up, you git. And get on with it."

He considered putting his arm around her shoulder, just to annoy her. It was surprisingly fun to rile her. "Interested in making some magic together?" When she raised an unimpressed eyebrow, he added smoothly, "My wand is at the ready."

"MR. BLACK!"

Sirius almost face palmed. He didn't need to see Clarisse to read the panic written all over her. He really had rotten luck. His face set to grimness; he turned to face a wrathful McGonagall who was standing behind him and a little red in the face. "Detention for a month!"

He groaned. "But, professor! I was"-

She strode away before he could charm his way out of the situation. Clarisse didn't look at him for the rest of the class. He was quite certain he heard a giggle or two spill out of her.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

"I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky."

James released a pained groan, searching for a pillow he might smother Sirius with. This was getting out of control.

"You can have the portkey to my heart!" Sirius sighed dramatically.

Remus shook his head, clearly giving up on driving some sense into the conversation. On the evening before the ball, Sirius was sprawled on the sofa while his friends were seated around him conversing merrily. Just yesterday, after Transfiguration, Clarisse accosted Sirius and asked him to accompany her to the ball. Since then, Sirius had behaved like an overjoyed dog. The irony was not lost upon any of them.

"I'm not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your unrestricted section tonight?"

"Shut up, Sirius!" Remus and James growled together. Peter Pettigrew, poor rat, giggled helplessly.

"I'm so hot, Aguamenti can't put me out!"

This was going to be a long, long evening.


End file.
